Jodi’s Journal

We go through life looking for approval from others. This unending search for approval runs deep inside of us as we unknowingly nurture a relationship with the idea that if we could just be accepted, then little by little we would come to know who we are. We actually buy into the notion that if we could get enough people to approve of us, then this ache in our soul that is always trying to figure out who we should be would finally come to an end.

To break the bonds of this secret form of captivity, we must ask ourselves: What happens to someone who is always looking for approval? The answer is clear: They sell themselves! This unconscious, self-destructive behavior has become so habitual to us that we don’t catch it… but there is more than that, and you can see it when you watch people.

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“My greatest wealth is the deep stillness in which I strive and grow and win what the world cannot take from me with fire or sword.”

(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)

If our minds are always busy, they don’t get time to do basic maintenance… to sort, tidy up and take out the trash. If we don’t periodically clear out space in our minds, there’s no room for new ideas to take root.

Where do you find stillness each day and each week? Plan for quiet time, relaxation and stillness daily, even if it’s only for 5 or 10 minutes.

“For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe.”

(Larry Eisenberg)

In today’s stressful world people often want safety and security rather than something as noble as truth. They don’t believe that the truth will set them free. When the primitive brain is activated through the stresses and challenges of life, we revert to its primary objective: assure personal security above all else. Often we feel more secure if we simply align ourselves with the collective thinking, and adopt what society or others believe and hold to be true. There is a price to pay for this way of gaining security, albeit a false security. That price is loss of soul. Soul demands personal sensitivity to what is real and responsibility for expressing that truth.

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“When I grip the wheel too tight, I find I lose control.”

(Steve Rapson)

We seek to control our lives when we do not trust. Our ego, perceiving itself to be vulnerable and insecure, uses control in an effort to protect itself.

At the root of our need to control, we find FEAR. It may be fear of the unknown. Fear of not coping. Fear of loss. Or possibly even fear of looking stupid. And as our efforts to control other people and events invariably fail, our fear increases.

Trust, on the other hand, is a quality of the soul. While control is a tool of the mind, TRUST AND FAITH ARE ASPECTS OF THE HEART. Trust comes with the deep knowing that we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. When we trust enough in life to give up our need to control, we can relax and open to the flow of energy in our lives. This brings peace of mind.

“The only real security in life lies in relishing life’s insecurity.”

(M. Scott Peck)

“Do not abandon trust when your ego thinks things should be different than they are.”

(Wayne Dyer)

“Ordinarily, everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything.”

(Anthony de Mello)

“Remember, most of the things you think you need are ego trips designed to bolster your image and your perception of security…. You’ll waste a lot of energy satisfying your ego only to find that, as soon as it’s got what it wants, it ignores all your efforts and promptly nails another list of demands to your forehead. The ego will always try to force you to slave for its vision. I wouldn’t stand for that BS if I were you.”

(Stuart Wilde)

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization that I can’t control another.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another. It’s to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.

Tonight the sky above reminds me of you, Love
Walking through wintertime, where the stars all shine
The angel on the stairs will tell you I was there
Under the front porch light, on a mystery night

I’ve been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back?
Could I get you off my mind… this time

The neon lights in bars and headlights from the cars
Have started a symphony inside of me
The things I left behind have melted in my mind
And now there’s a purity inside of me

I’ve been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back?
Could I get you off my mind… this time

(Jonathan Rhys Meyers, from the August Rush Soundtrack)

“Life is complex. Each one of us must make his own path through life. There are no self-help manuals, no formulas, no easy answers. The right road for one is the wrong road for another. The journey of life is not paved in blacktop; it is not brightly lit, and it has no road signs. It is a rocky path through the wilderness.”

(M. Scott Peck)

We each have our own pathways to develop both personally and spiritually. They are based on our character and past experiences. No one else can identify our paths for us. Tune in to your inner guidance system and follow its direction.

“What every man needs, regardless of his job or the kind of work he is doing, is a vision of what his place is and may be. He needs an objective and a purpose. He needs a feeling and a belief that he has some worthwhile thing to do. What this is no one can tell him. It must be his own creation.”

(Joseph M. Dodge)

“We focus on the negatives, losing ourselves in the ‘problem.’ We point to our unhappy circumstances to rationalize our negative feelings. This is the easy way out. It takes, after all, very little effort to feel victimized.”

(Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)

Are we victims or are we students? These are the two ways of looking at life events and especially those we wish would not befall us.

I don’t like feeling like a victim and this is especially true since I like to see myself as a strong woman. But there are those times when I wear the rut deeper by going over and over about how unfairly I am being treated by a person or circumstance.

If we think there is a reason for our life here on earth, we may want to consider that events are life teachers. Rather than sink deep into a morass of misery and feeling totally helpless and unhappy, we can decide to look at ourselves and wonder if there is something of value in this experience.

Will I learn that believing that things have to be a certain way always leads to unhappiness? Or will I learn that maybe I need to change the way I look at life or change something about me? Does my persisting in saying ‘it shouldn’t be this way’ lead to my feeling better?

I do have a choice, though so many times my automatic response would be to think of all the reasons I have for feeling upset about a particular event. I so rarely consider that maybe this unhappy situation is a necessary step to a happier one.

(Judy Walden)

“Instead of looking at life as a narrowing funnel, we can see it ever widening to choose the things we want to do, to take the wisdom we’ve learned and create something.”

(Liz Carpenter)

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

(C.G. Jung)

We get clues about our unconscious programming if we watch our reactions, responses, feelings and thoughts about other people and events. Ask yourself: How do I judge or stereotype people? What pushes my buttons? What makes me angry or fearful or sad?

The outer incidents that trigger these reactions in me simply mirror my own nature. If I didn’t have beliefs around the issues that upset me, where would my reactions come from? If I didn’t have some internal reference, I wouldn’t react at all.

When outer events spark a reaction, we need to look inside to explore what’s going on.

“We discover in ourselves what others hide from us and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves.”

(Vauvenargues)